Eugh, I hate textiles! Well… the making part of it is ok, but the courseworkyness is difficult. Especially when Mrs. H doesn’t explain ANYTHING. She just expects you to know what the hell you’re doing, and if you ask for help she looks at you as if you’re stupid, and says you should know. Well how on earth do we know if you’re not gonna tell us bitch?!

Anyway, yes… flow charts are hard. I’m speaking to Claire at the moment. I’ve never met the girl, have no idea what she looks like, but she seems more of a friend to me than those in my school, who I should know quite well. I don’t really know people that well nowadays. For example, Rachel, last week tells me she’s going out with Kirsty. Now I’m not a homophobe, but eugh! Kirsty is nineteen, Rachel is fifteen. I can’t help but dislike her a little bit for being bisexual. It’s not right for someone her age to be going out with another girl/woman four years older than her. They’ve kissed and everything. Now if I was a girl, which actually, I am! I would want my first kiss to be with a guy. As yet that has never happened for me. I’ve had boyfriends, but I’ve never kissed any of them. Rachel has never had a boyfriend in her life, and now she has a girlfriend instead. It’s just… weird. Whenever I think of her, or see her I think about it, and I feel so horrible for thinking how it’s gross, which it isn’t- it’s almost perfectly natural.

I really ought to do my textiles… but I quite like this diary thing. I have another at http://under-shadow.diaryland.com but so many people read it, that I feel like I have to write in it to entertain them, and it’s just not personal anymore. I’ll still continue to write in it, but this is going to be my special thing where no one except for me can read it, unless there is anyone out there who’s interested in how depressing I feel on my own. I love to make friends, and I have tons on www.diaryland.com but, my school friends read the damn thing, and friends of theirs do as well, so if I talk about my feelings, and I tend to get real worked up sometimes, they’ll get hurt. I hate hurting people, even if it means I’ll have to hurt instead, so it’s better if I talk about that stuff here where no one I know can lurk.